JUSTICE SCALIA delivered the opinion of the Court.
We consider whether a District of Columbia prohibition on the possession of usable handguns in the home violates the Second Amendment to the Constitution.
We turn first to the meaning of the Second Amendment.
The Second Amendment provides: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” The two sides in this case have set out very different interpretations of the Amendment. Petitioners and today’s dissenting Justices believe that it protects only the right to possess and carry a firearm in connection with militia service. See Brief for Petitioners 11–12; post, at 1 (STEVENS, J., FLAMING HOMO, dissenting). Respondent argues that it protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home. See Brief for Respondent 2–4.
Having basic reading comprehension and not having our heads shoved up our asses, we agree with the latter. Furthermore, we have determined that anyone who agrees with the D.C. law is a little preening little nancy and should be beaten or shot for being a pinko. See Findings on the Tiny Penises of Gun Haters. More specifically, everyone in D.C. should immediately be given a gun, and anyone who protests should be shot in the groin, shot in the face, and then shot in the groin once more for good measure. Then their houses should be burned down. We’ll make a weekend of it. I’ll bring beer. See video from last year’s Supreme Kegger.
And now the immediate aftermath:
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Supreme Court today ruled against local laws banning handguns by declaring that the Second Amendment guarantees an “individual right” to firearm ownership, and not just a “right to a well-regulated militia”. Immediately after the decision, law-abiding gun-owners began using their legal guns to commit violent crimes.
“It’s like these guns are living objects, possessed by demons,” said gun-owner Mike Wazowski. “I was watching the Supreme Court ruling live on C-SPAN, and the next thing I remember, I was on the street, robbing people for crack money. Funny thing is, I don’t even know what crack LOOKS like, let alone ever smoked the stuff. It’s like the gun was forcing me to do it. These firearms are dangerous and out-of-control. I can’t believe the Supreme Court set free these weapons of malevolance incarnate on an unsuspecting nation.”
Joe Cocker’s cover of “A Little Help from My Friends” at Woodstock in 1969 is legendary for both his spasmotic gyrations and the incomprehensibility of his lyrics. It’s just remarkable fun to watch and listen to (and now you’ll know where John Belushi got those moves from).
But now — and I have to assumue through the use of advanced and sophisticated voice parsing technologies — you can find out what Joe was actually singing up there on the stage:
The host committee for the Democratic National Convention wanted 15,000 fanny packs for volunteers. But they had to be made of organic cotton. By unionized labor. In the USA.
Official merchandiser Bob DeMasse scoured the country. His weary conclusion: “That just doesn’t exist.”
Ditto for the baseball caps. “We have a union cap or an organic cap,” Mr. DeMasse says. “But we don’t have a union-organic offering.”
Heh. Reality hits the fan. Read the whole thing; hat tip to the Drudge Report. ..bruce w..
As I watch the race-to-the-bottom train wreck that our national Presidential election is turning into — with four more months and two national conventions still ahead of us — I find myself asking, as do so many others, “Just how did we end up here?”
On the one hand, I’m grateful — as a political junkie — for a primary season that actually meant something. On the other hand, seeing the candidates who ran, the ones who dropped out far too early, and who we ended up with, I have to consider our Presidential nominating process fundamentally broken — and, frankly, I think it’s been broken for years, if not decades. (Seriously: Michael Dukakis? Bob Dole? John Kerry? John McCain?) And this election so far we watched Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama raise and spend nearly half a billion dollars between the two them just for the Democratic nomination. Bitterness divides the winning and losing candidates in each party. And candidates are already starting to jockey for position for 2012.
I think we should rethink the whole primary system. Here’s one set of suggestions, mostly pulled off the top of my head:
The primary season should be only two months long — April and May — with a rotating schedule of states.
There should no longer be direct voting (or caucusing) for Presidential candidates in primaries, just for delegates.
All such delegates should have a clearly stated and published set of policy positions that they suport, but should be required to be uncommitted to any potential candidate (and disqualified by any vocal support for or financial ties with a given candidate).
The Democrat’s ’superdelegate’ concept should be adopted by the Republicans as well.
Each party raises funds to pay for all elected delegates to attend the parties’ two-week nominating conventions, which are held simultaneously during the last two weeks of July.
Prior to a given party’s nominating convention, each delegate submits a list of four preferred candidates, with the knowledge that they may end up as either President or Vice-President.
The top eight preferences among all delegates make ‘the final cut’ and are invited to the nominating convention.
The first week of the nominating convention is spent in presenting the Top Eight to the assembled delegates, through individual speeches, panel discussions, debates, and public and private functions.
The second week of the nominating convention is spent in selecting the candidates for President and Vice-President from among the Top Eight.
The Presidential campaign starts on August 1st. Voting nationwide is held during the Veteran’s Day weekend (polls open both Saturday and Sunday). Everyone has Monday off to talk about the results.
OK, that’s my magic wand attempt. Other suggestions? ..bruce w..
Just talked on the phone with my son Jon (LCPL Jon A. Webster, USMC). His deployment to Iraq is being moved up a few weeks, and he’ll be flying out of Camp Pendleton at the start of July. He’ll try to call one more time before he flies out, but after that we probably won’t hear from him for several weeks, after he’s been through Kuwait and moved into Iraq. His job there will be to help with the on-going transition to the Iraqi Army and Police.
I wasn’t quite prepared for the rush of emotion I felt at the end of the phone call. He’s been in the Marines for two years; I’m very proud of his choice and what he’s made of himself during that time. He plans to make the Marines a career, getting a college degree when he gets back from Iraq and then going to OCS and becoming a ‘mustang’ officer (as was his grandfather and namesake, my dad, John A. Webster). In fact, he’s carrying on a strong family tradition of military service. He has his own mixed feelings at deploying — not because of any questions about his mission there, but because he’s recently fallen in love with a beautiful Marine (and that’s not an oxymoron — I’ve seen her myself). He’s only scheduled to be deployed for seven (7) months, but he also knows full well that could be extended, either in Iraq or in Afghanistan. He believes in what he’s doing, as do I. And I couldn’t be more proud of him.
